Aggravation in a Nutshell
by Heart of PureSilver
Summary: He was just helping his friend with his jutsu. Since when were there five faces on Hokage Mountain? Why does everyone want him dead more so than usual? Who's the fool in the atrocious mask claiming to be him? And why is there a ninja wearing ORANGE? Madara won't know what hit him. Time travel.


"Dare I even ask what it is I'm here for, Hashirama?"

"You'll see! Trust me on this!"

Madara rolled his eyes at his jubilant ally. The Hokage had requested his presence and Madara had little choice but to comply with Hashirama's summons. When he finally arrived at the newly built Hokage building, Hashirama had insisted he follow him to Hokage Mountain for something "special". Madara frowned when they finally reached the top cliff overlooking Konohagakure. Hashirama was still giving him that ever annoying smile that indicated he had something planned.

Madara sighed, looking over the village they had created together. None of his clansmen would believe his theory that the Uchiha Clan would eventually be destroyed by the Senju. He had wanted to protect them, just as his brother wished he would. He felt guilt eat away at him when he realized he would never be able to keep that promise. He was running out of options. He felt that leaving the village at this point was his only choice. Before he left, he wanted to take a closer look at the Uchiha monument located in Naka Shrine. It had been some time since he last looked at it. He knew the words inscribed on that stone meant something of utmost importance. Now that he possessed the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan, he would be able to decipher more of its meaning.

"Alright Madara," Hashirama said, motioning Madara over to him. "Now—"

"Skip the common courtesies, Hashirama. Just get to the point," Madara snapped, crossing his arms irately.

He was in no mood to deal with Hashirama's antics that day. Leaving behind everything he dreamed and cared about was hard enough on him as is. He didn't need Hashirama reminding him that he was still wanted; that there was still one person who would stand by his side, no matter what anyone else thought about him. Madara both cursed and lauded that aspect about the naïve Senju. Just seeing his longtime friend caused his resolve to leave to wane. Hashirama frowned at him, that depressive cloud hovering over his figure like it usually did whenever Madara said something hurtful or offensive to him. Madara's eye twitched at the action. He groaned, palming his face with his hand as he felt the need to apologize overcome him.

"Okay, I'm _sorry_!" Madara sighed in defeat. "Stop getting so depressed over nothing, you idiot."

"Right!" Hashirama exclaimed, his depression evaporating. "Now, the reason I called you up here is because I need you to help me with something."

Madara curiously perked up. "Help with what?"

"See, I've been testing out this new space-time jutsu," Hashirama explained. "It's a variation of my brother's Hirashin no Jutsu."

Madara immediately scowled. "I want no part in this."

"Wait! Just hear me out!"

Madara bit back any harsh words that wanted to come out of his mouth. How he loathed that man and that specific jutsu. The Hirashin no Jutsu was the technique that Tobirama used to kill his brother. That jutsu took Izuna away from him. He had no desire to involve himself with that technique in any shape or form, nor did he want to associate with anything that despicable Senju conjured up.

"Make it quick," Madara growled.

"I know being able to teleport just about anywhere is a useful technique to have, but my brother's version requires the use of specific seals in order to use it. I was merely curious whether it was possible to send someone or something without the use of having a seal marker in the specific places you want to teleport to."

"…You were stupid enough to attempt it," Madara deadpanned.

Hashirama grinned. "Yep."

"And what was the result?"

"I managed it. I was able to send quite a number of objects into my office."

"What does all this have to do with me?"

Hashirama gave him a sheepish smile, laughing uncomfortably. Madara's eyes narrowed while his anger and annoyance steadily increased.

"I am not a test subject, Hashirama," he said.

"I don't know who else to ask!" Hashirama countered. "I couldn't say 'Hey! I want to test a new jutsu on you!' to just anyone."

"Why me and not your brother?"

"He's busy doing advisor stuff when I should be doing paperwork."

"So this is an excuse to shirk your work. Typical."

"Have you seen those _mountains_? They haunt me in my sleep!"

Madara laughed. He continued looking at his friend, who was awkwardly scratching the back of his head. It was times like this he enjoyed the most: when they could speak to each other as friends, just like they used to as kids. The concern about the tension between their respective clans seemed to melt away when he spoke to Hashirama like this.

"Alright. I'll help you, but just this once. Next time, cry to your brother for help," Madara answered, closing his eyes in acceptance. "What do I have to do?"

"Just stand there, look pretty, let me cast the jutsu, and you should end up in my office in the next second! This is my first attempt sending a person and I would prefer you to end up there in one piece."

His eyes snapped open in alarm. "Wait…one piece!? _**Hashirama!**_"

Something went wrong. Horribly wrong. That was the only thing that went through Madara's mind when he felt himself suspended in midair and NOT in Hashirama's office in the next second. It felt like someone attempted to squeeze him through a cylindrical opening and he barely managed to be pushed through it. The entire experience lasted about five seconds, but it felt like it lasted much longer than that to the Uchiha. When he finally opened his eyes, he cautiously looked down. His jaw dropped when he realized there was no ground below his feet. He was hovering above a vast expanse of trees in _midair_. Gravity soon took over, bringing him back down to earth at an incredible speed.

"HASHIRAMA, YOU _IDIOT_!" he yelled angrily as he fell into some trees.

* * *

><p>"Yo! Pervy Sage! Quit doing your stupid 'research' and let's go!"<p>

Jiraiya laughed from atop his tree branch, his perverted tendencies causing him to ignore his student. He saw the women and their plump mounds as well as their curvy figures. His smile grew bigger and wider the longer he looked at the lovely ladies through his trusty "research" tool. Even if his newest book was finished, there was no reason to let any research opportunities go to waste. He would be inspired to continue with another volume of his Make Out series.

"—_IOT_!"

Jiraiya blinked, wondering where the shouting came from. He heard the snapping of tree branches and numerous grunts from somewhere nearby. He heard Nartuo let out a quick shout of surprise before he yelled out in pain. The perverted hermit took his time descending from his peeping spot to see what had landed on Naruto. After walking through the trees, he came across an unusual sight.

Someone had apparently fallen on top of Naruto and the Uzumaki was less than pleased with it. The long black hair had fallen on one side of the person, revealing the ever familiar insignia of the Uchiha Clan on his back. That instantly got Jiraiya's attention. There were no survivors of the Uchiha Massacre except for Sasuke and Itachi Uchiha. Was there another survivor that the Leaf didn't know about? That explanation seemed too farfetched to be true.

"That blasted…I'll kill him with fire when I get my hands on him," the stranger muttered as he painfully lifted himself off of Naruto. His overly long bangs masked his face.

"Oi! What's the big idea falling on me like that!?" Naruto shouted in anger.

"You think I enjoy falling from excessive heights and landing on random individuals!?" the man snapped indignantly.

He stood up, patting down his clothes and finally allowing Jiraiya to see his face. The Toad Sage froze. The man's face was scratched and smudged with dirt, but the likeness was clearly visible. Jiraiya frowned deeply at the uncanny resemblance the man had with the infamous Madara Uchiha. The stranger winced, holding his left side in pain.

"Stand there and look pretty, he says. You'll end up in my office, he says," the man grumbled darkly to himself. "Useless, naïve Senju. This is _not_ your office."

"What are you goin' on about, ya crazy kook?" Naruto asked, dusting himself off as well.

"An idiot who decided that messing around with jutsu seemed like a good idea," he growled in reply. "I'm not crazy either, you ignorant brat."

"HEY!"

"Alright, break it up you two," Jiraiya finally announced, deciding to intervene before the insult-fest got worse. He turned to the stranger. "Start explaining yourself. Who are you?"

"It's rude to ask someone else their name before giving your own," the supposed Uchiha coolly retorted, crossing his arms and giving Jiraiya a deadly glare.

Jiraiya grinned. "So that's how it's going to be, huh? Very well!"

The Uchiha blinked when Jiraiya began preparing his usual introduction. The white-haired man got into his starting pose, even going as far as summoning one of his toads to make the scene more dramatic.

"I am the Hermit of Mount Myouboku: the wise, gallant, and ever dashing Jiraiya of the Sannin, the Toad Mountain Sage!"

"…Never heard of you," the man bluntly replied.

Jiraiya comically fell off his toad while Naruto proceeded to laugh his head off. The perverted sage rose to his feet, digging into one of his packs and pulling out a copy of Make Out: Paradise.

"Perhaps you would know me better by my exotic tales of love, beauty, and adventure?" he reasoned, handing the orange book to the stranger.

The man took the orange book, flipping it open and quickly scanning the content of the novel. The huge blush that immediately formed on the youth's face caused Jiraiya to smile. Almost everyone knew of the Make Out series. It was a best-seller for a good reason. Years of meticulous research helped him create such masterpieces. He felt something slam into his face, which he soon realized was his novel. The man gave him a fierce look, though the massive blush was still on his face.

"You call corrupt material like that a novel!?" he snapped. "You're no author; you're nothing but a perverted old man!"

"I am not just any old pervert! I'm a _super_ pervert!" Jiraiya corrected proudly.

The man groaned, palming his face while sighing deeply. He muttered something about dear kami, why me, perverted sages, and torture. He then crossed his arms, coughing in an effort to regain his composure.

"Well, self-proclaimed super pervert, Jiraiya of the Sannin…I am Madara Uchiha."

Jiraiya's eyes instantly narrowed. "Madara Uchiha?"

"Holy crap!" Naruto shouted in disbelief. "There's no way you can be…?"

"So you both know of me?" Madara said, turning his head and eyeing the blonde with a cold look.

"Hey Pervy Sage!" Naruto angrily yelled, pointing an accusing finger at the super pervert. "I thought you said the Uchiha were wiped out expect for Itachi and Sasuke!? You lied!"

"WHAT!?" Madara exclaimed in shock.

"What? Were you sleeping under a rock or something? There was a massacre. Pervy Sage said that there were only two survivors from that night. At least that's what he _said_."

Naruto narrowed his eyes at the perverted hermit, crossing his arms and giving Jiraiya a harsh look. Madara turned back to Jiraiya, who was in the middle of moving his hand across his throat. He apparently had been trying to silently sign Naruto to stop talking, but to no avail. In the next second, a fist grabbed the front of his shirt in a fierce hold. Sharp and angry Sharingan eyes burned into Jiraiya. He was lifted slightly into the air, even though Madara was a good few inches shorter than he was.

"What's this about a massacre?" the Uchiha emotionlessly demanded.

"Yeah…about that…" Jiraiya began, giving Naruto a nasty look for getting him into a delicate situation.

The ruby eyes narrowed. "Answer, you perverted hermit."

"Uh, Naruto? I could use a few curves right about now!" Jiraiya said, hoping the oblivious blonde would understand.

"_Really_? Geez…" Naruto deadpanned. He began grumbling under his breath as he cracked his knuckles before placing his hands together in the ever familiar seals. "Hey, what's-your-face!"

Madara turned his head, just quick enough before a poof of smoke encircled the teen. He stiffened when in Naruto's place was a very curvaceous and gorgeous blonde who was lacking the significant object called clothing. Instead, she was wearing some sort of scandalous devil costume.

"Uchiha-sama!" she seductively pleaded, pressing herself against Madara's chest and nuzzling it. "Don't be angry. Forget the Pervy Sage. Light me with your fire instead."

Jiraiya fell to his feet when the grip on his shirt was released, a huge trail of blood leaking from his nose. Oh, how he loved the genius that went behind that technique! If only he could trick Naruto into doing it more often so he had some "inspiration" to go off of when he was brainstorming. He saw that Madara had covered both of his eyes with his hands, attempting to hide the huge blush that spread across his face.

"Uchiha-sama! Why're you hiding from me?"

"I'm not that type!" he yelled, gritting his teeth together. "You won't tempt me with a jutsu as deplorable as that! I won't fall for it, you naïve brat!"

She winked. "Then why are you peeking through your fingers?"

Much to Jiraiya's shock, it was true. The Uchiha had moved his fingers apart just enough to squint at the beautiful blonde before him. The curiosity must've been too much for him. He immediately shut his eye and his foot slammed into Naruto's face. The blonde was sent a few yards back from the force, dispelling the Sexy Jutsu in the process. The Uzumaki groaned, rubbing his sore face.

"You bastard!" Naruto yelled, an imprint of a foot now on his face. "What was that for!?"

"For being just as perverted as the old man…" Madara bit back, hands still on his face to cover the huge blush that was marring his cheeks.

"Hey, at least I don't peep on naked girls!" retorted Naruto.

"Never mind all that," the Uchiha said, turning his attention back to Jiraiya. "Back to the business at hand. Explain everything. _Now_."

"I must admit, whoever you _really_ are, you're pulling off an incredible act here," Jiraiya noted, placing a hand to his chin and completely ignoring the blood still dripping from his nose. "The furrowed brow of yours is quite convincing."

"Don't change the subject," Madara furiously snapped. "I am who I say I am. You dare imply I'm an imposter?"

"I don't imply; I _know_," the Toad Sage replied seriously. "Madara Uchiha has been long dead for several decades now."

The Uchiha's rage seemed to evaporate and was replaced with shock. "What!? But…_how_? I'm…"

"Read up on your shinobi history next time," the perverted hermit scolded him. "Madara Uchiha was killed at the Valley of the End by the First Hokage Hashirama Senju when the former defected from Konoha and attempted to destroy the village. The two statues there now were created to memorialize the fight between them. If you're going to impersonate someone as infamous as Madara Uchiha, you should at least know that much."

A mixture of horror and disbelief crossed Madara's face as his brain absorbed the information he had just been told. He took a few steps back, reeling from what he had been told.

"How many years has it been since then?"

"I'd say about eighty, give or take."

Madara's jaw dropped. "Eighty!?"

"I don't get it! What's the big deal?" Naruto asked, placing his arms behind his head. "So he's named after some dead dude. What's so bad about that?"

"That 'dead dude' just so happened to be one of Konoha's founders, Naruto," Jiraiya explained. "One does not go tossing around Madara Uchiha's name lightly. That name is taboo just about everywhere."

"…And what of this massacre?" Madara asked quietly, his bangs hiding his eyes.

"I'd say it happened about eight years ago," Jiraiya answered, scratching his head. "Itachi Uchiha murdered every single one of his own clansmen except his younger brother for who knows what reason. They're the only two left of the Uchiha Clan."

"What sort of sick twisted hell did you drop me into, Hashirama?" Madara muttered under his breath.

"Drop the act and remove the Henge you have up. I know you're not the real Madara Uchiha," the Sannin demanded, giving a murderous look at the Uchiha.

"But I AM Madara!" he insisted, his Sharingan deactivated as he looked Jiraiya in the eyes.

"Even if what you say is true and you really _are_ Madara, how could he still possibly be alive? Not to mention that you're still young compared to the age you're supposed to be at this point in time."

"That buffoon of a Senju decided that messing with the Hirashin no Jutsu was a bright idea!" Madara retorted. "I don't know how or why, but that idiot Hashirama somehow sent me here!"

Jiraiya blinked. "You expect me to believe that Shodai-sama used the Hirashin no Jutsu to send you nearly a century into the future?"

"_Yes_, because that's _exactly_ what happened!" the Uchiha growled.

"I don't buy it."

"You are grating on my patience, perverted hermit…"

"Strange. I feel the same way, imposter."

"Time out!" Naruto blurted out to Madara, getting in between the two men. "You knew the First Hokage!?"

Madara blinked. "Yes. Why do you—"

"Then you must know a ton of awesome jutsu!" Naruto concluded. "You _have_ to show me!"

Madara blinked again in bewilderment. "What? I never—"

Naruto grabbed Madara's arm. "You'll teach me, won't you!? The Pervy Sage won't take my training seriously since he's always peeking on girls to do his stupid research."

"HEY!" was Jiraiya's interjection.

"Why are you so adamant about this?"

"I have to get stronger!" Naruto declared. "If I'm ever going to become Hokage one day, I need to get as strong as I can! And…"

Madara patiently waited for the blonde to continue. He was mildly interested to hear what else he had in mind to do with all that strength he wanted.

"I have to save my friend. I'll bring him back home to Konoha, no matter what!"

Madara saw the sheer determination in the blonde's eyes. That willpower reminded him of another idiot he knew. They both had that ever annoying jovial smile. He briefly wondered if the brat was distantly related to Hashirama. He had somehow ended up in the future. It _was_ possible. If they were related, then the blonde would have that aggravating quirk of constantly bugging Madara to help him with things or ask for his opinion. Madara rolled his eyes. He knew he'd be adding oil to the flame by saying this.

"Alright. Fine. I can teach you," he answered.

"Awesome!" Naruto cheered, dragging Madara along with him as he ventured up the road. "Let's get started!"

"Don't pull on me, you brat!" Madara snapped as he reluctantly followed the eager child.

Jiraiya stood there, mouth agape at what he had just seen. Madara Uchiha near Naruto? If the guy was actually telling the truth, then that meant he could easily control the Kyuubi once he got close enough to Naruto. That would be a disaster if that happened. He didn't sense any ill intent when the Uchiha agreed to the blonde's demands, but that could easily change. Jiraiya frowned.

Tsunade _had_ to know about this.

* * *

><p><strong>Madara Uchiha, stop taking over my life! I have other stuff I need to work on! T_T<strong>

**Yet another plot-bunny the Plot-Bunny Brigade threw at me. There's not really a wide array of time travel stories focusing on our favorite Uchiha overlord, so I figured I'd post this up.. I'll work on it for fun, so updates will be sporadic (not that they aren't sporadic right now for my other stories).**


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